Chapter Three
The
subtle morning breeze with the sun’s warmth felt so nice as it caressed my
skin, though I was fully aware, terrifyingly aware, that I’d soon fear it; and
I’d never feel its magnificence again. The thought of
a life in darkness, lurking within shadows, was too much to comprehend, and was
something I wasn’t looking forward too.
I’d been walking for what felt like hours,
and the closer I got to my recent life the more sadness and regret built up in
me. I should have simply tried to live my life, struggling from one day to the
next until death happened naturally.
This would be the last time I’d ever see my
family, and I knew I was going to miss them so much. I could only imagine what
I’d put each of them through, and I hoped that, with time, their lives would
get back to normal; deep down I foolishly hoped they’d already forgotten about
me.
I turned the last corner and kept walking
towards the house. I wanted to see my parents and my brother, David, one last
time to watch as they pottered around the house going about their daily lives,
and to absorb the smells acquainted with the house where I’d felt safe.
With the house right in front of me, I sat
on the brick wall close to the pavement and waited for any sign of life to come
from inside. Nothing happened for a while, so I decided to move closer, and as
I neared the front door it opened as my Dad left for work; I leapt inside just
before he’d turned around and closed it.
After catching my reflection in the hallway
mirror, something drew my attention downwards towards a wooden shelf where the
mail was always placed. Leaning against the wall was a large dusty black
envelope with my name on it. I took a closer look, and the red words looked at
though they’d been written with blood, with the fourth letter of my name
resembling a cross. I reached to pick it up, but just as I did my Mum walked
into the hallway and I thought that perhaps she’d see the envelope move by
itself. The last thing I wanted to do was to scare her, so I left it there.
I went to the kitchen where my brother was
sat at the breakfast table; he looked happy enough, but was playing with his
cereal more than eating it. What I saw next made my racing heart thump even
louder in my chest. Just above David’s shoulder, on a shelf where the dishes
were stored, I saw another dusty black envelope. I walked over to it and it
looked identical with my name written in exactly the same way. ‘Mum, please,
you need to stop crying,’ David pleaded before dropping his spoon into his
cereal bowl. I joined his stare and saw Mum wiping her eyes in the doorway. She
kept sniffling as she walked over to the table, and I wanted more than anything
to tell her that everything would be OK.
‘I’m sorry, David,’ she said, wiping her
eyes again. ‘If they’d have found his body, at least… at least we’d know what
happened.’ For a split second I’d forgotten what I’d become and I walked over
to hug her, but her gaze failed to meet mine, and I walked right through her.
‘It’s possible that he’s out there
somewhere, maybe staying with a friend,’ David suggested, forcing a half smile.
The only response he got was a sigh and a shake of the head.
‘He didn’t have any real friends. Victor
didn’t make friends very easily - we both know that. I just hope that someone
finds him; not knowing what’s happened to him is eating me up inside,’ Mum
said. I could see tears begin to well up in her eyes.
Guilt wasn’t a strong enough word for what
I was feeling, and the worst thing was that there was nothing I could do to
make the situation any better. I took one last look around. The living room was
far cleaner than usual, and I knew that Mum had been scrupulously cleaning to
divert attention from her feelings. I scanned the room and stopped at the mantle
piece where another dusty black envelope sat; again it looked identical, as did
the one on the pillow upstairs in my old room, where everything was just as I’d
left it.
A thought then crossed my mind - I should
have picked up the first envelope, as it was obvious that only I could see it.
I was nervous about what the contents may be, and thought that perhaps Violet,
or one of the others had placed them in the rooms to explain something they
didn’t want to say to my face.
After hearing David leave for school, I
walked past another black envelope sat on a shelf near the bathroom door.
Inside the bathroom I saw another envelope on the window ledge and, I don’t
know why, but I instinctively went to close the door causing it to creak; I’d
forgotten it did that. ‘Victor… Victor, Is that you?’ my Mum screamed from
downstairs. I stopped in my tracks, but then remembered that I was completely
invisible to her. She ran up the stairs and into the
bathroom, looking around but seeing no one. Seeing the hurt on her face made
the regret for what I’d tried to do to myself resurface. She began to
move the door backwards and forwards to duplicate the sound she thought came
from my touch. She always seemed as though she didn’t really care much for me
before; I had no idea that, all this time, I’d meant so much to her. Moments
later she sighed and went downstairs, I felt awful.
Reaching for the envelope on the window
ledge, I noticed the reflection of the envelope near the bathroom door in the
mirror and, as I lifted the envelope in front of me, I saw the other rise up as
if lifted by an invisible force. Stamped on the back was a dark red seal with a
thin strand of cotton running up and down either side. I wanted to open it
straight away, but I also felt a need to stay at home and relax in the
surroundings I was once used to. I knew that wouldn’t be an option for much
longer.
For the next hour or so, I just sat in a
chair and watched as Mum went about her daily routine of vacuuming the floor,
cleaning and dusting the furniture and washing the dishes. Once she’d sat down
with a coffee and the crossword section of the newspaper I studied her face,
and I just hoped that one day soon she’d move on with her life. She opened the
back door to allow warm air to circulate through the house, and I took that as
my cue; I walked out for the last time.
Once outside I tried to relax in the
mid-morning glow, but as I started to feel a little better I heard my stomach
rumble, and immediately realised I hadn’t eaten since waking up - perhaps even
for the last nine days. I craved a burger, but knew I couldn’t simply go and
buy one as I had no money, and I was invisible to everyone except for those who
knew.
I remembered the way back to the warehouse
easily and, after taking a free ride on a bus in the right direction for a
couple of miles, I stepped back onto the ground at a fast food restaurant. The
door was already open, and the place was bustling with customers ordering food,
eating food and having a good time. I saw a well-dressed family of four walking
towards a table close to where I was, and just after the two kids had placed
their trays of junk food on the table I snatched their burgers and ran outside
and down the road as quickly as I could; I was sure they could afford more, and
I would have loved to have seen their reaction when they realised the burgers
had vanished. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I’d have to take care of
myself now, however selfish I’d have to be.
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